Healthy Love Versus Unhealthy Love

Healthy Love Unhealthy Love
Reality-based Fantasy-based (hopeful denial)
Compliments each other Seeks to feel completed by the other
Finds a friend/acts like a friend Seeks a victim/creates a true victim
Sacrifices/surrenders power Demands sacrifice/takes power
Patient Impatient
Kind Rude
Forgiving Resentful
Doesn’t hold grudges/Works through issues Seeks revenge/quests for “fairness”
Creates growing trust/security Creates growing fear/powerlessness
Vulnerable Defensive
Allows for growth/change/uniqueness Pressed to conform and perform
Gentle Combative
Responsive Over-reactive or apathetic
Honest and transparent Deceitful and hiding
Desire to commit Fantasize about being free
Feels satisfied/content/joyful Feels restless/craving/stuck