Healthy Love Versus Unhealthy Love

Healthy Love Unhealthy Love

Reality-based Fantasy-based (hopeful denial)

Compliments each other Seeks to feel completed by the other

Finds a friend/acts like a friend Seeks a victim/creates a true victim

Sacrifices/surrenders power Demands sacrifice/takes power

Patient Impatient

Kind Rude

Forgiving Resentful

Doesn’t hold grudges/Works through issues Seeks revenge/quests for “fairness”

Creates growing trust/security Creates growing fear/powerlessness

Vulnerable Defensive

Allows for growth/change/uniqueness Pressed to conform and perform

Gentle Combative

Responsive Over-reactive or apathetic

Honest and transparent Deceitful and hiding

Desire to commit Fantasize about being free

Feels satisfied/content/joyful Feels restless/craving/stuck